So...A couple of weeks ago, I found out that Albert was already dating someone. In fact, he started dating her rather quickly (about 3 weeks) after we broke up. Of course, I was hurt. I have been in an awful state of mind since the miscarriage so my reaction was a little crazy.
I then found out that he had been "talking" to her and other women LONG before we broke up. I was devastated to say the least. I got angry. REALLY angry.
So, while he was on his cruise, I hacked into his Facebook. LOL...I know!!
I read everything that he hadn't deleted to date. LOL...because he's a sneaky one! He deletes all his messages from Facebook and texts. He got into that habit long before I came along. Reading everything, I discovered that he was doing to her what he was doing to me. He was "talking" and "sex messaging" with several other women while telling her how he wanted to be with her.
Then I realized the dates of some of these messages were only a few days old. Now, I don't know his new girlfriend but from everything I found, she seems like a really good woman. Albert was telling her (according to him) that the other girls were "just friends". And she was believing him. I knew better because I had read the messages on FB. So, the dilemma began. Do I tell her?? Do I not tell her?? I mean she was falling for him and believing everything he was telling her.
I made myself sick over this.
Albert and I had lunch on Saturday. It was really good. We talked and I told him that she needed to know what was going on with him and that he had better because I was going to. He said ok. Well, he didn't.
So, I decided to tell her. I wanted to meet her and talk to her face to face and she initially agreed. But then it ended up being a text conversation. I wasn't mean-spirited and I wasn't emotional about it. I didn't give her specifics but I let her know that his "friends" were more than that. I thought it went well. I felt better. He needs a good woman and she seems to be just that.
THE AFTERMATH:
Albert called me that night and is cutting all ties. And I can't see the kids. He's incredibly angry.
I accept that. I accept the consequences to my actions.
I wanted to apologize to him and let him know that what I did was because I loved him and I wanted him to be happy and if that was going to happen, she needed to know. So, I drove over there Thursday night to talk to him. I prayed the whole way that I would say what I needed to say and that his heart would be softened and he would listen to me.
I get to his house and there is a car there. I knock and knock and knock. He finally comes to the door and he sees it's me. He comes out and is furious. We talk...well, I talk. I tell him that I didn't do it to be mean. I told him that he knows me and he knows I'd never do something like that with a mean spirit. I told him that I love him unconditionally. I told him he is my best friend and I want him to be happy.
He tells me that he is pissed. He tells me that what I did was crossing the line and that I should have thought it through. He tells me that I need to find another best friend ("Isn't that what you told me?"). He tells me that now her head is filled with ideas that didn't need to be there.
I ask if I can meet her.
He then says. It's not her inside. It's Erica.
I said nothing. I gave him a hug and I left. I felt really good about the way it turned out. I said what I needed to say and he heard me. I left happy. The consequences still suck. But now she knows, and what she does with it is up to her. Maybe he'll straighten up and fly right. I really hope so. But only time will tell what kind of an impact my visit had on him. Because he got LUCKY that it was me and not her. And I can guarantee he was relieved. lol...
So, here I sit. Alone. Missing my best friend. Missing the laughs we shared. Missing the kids. I hope it works out for him. And at the same time, I don't. I love him. I want him to be happy but deep down, I want it to be me. I will be there for him because of the unconditional nature of my love for him. It hurts like hell to see him or hear about him with another woman but he's happy and that is what is most important. Right?? Right.
