Isn't She Lovely??

Why yes I am!!

I know. lol...You all hear me say it all the time.

But lately my sis and I have been having some really interesting conversations about life, self, religion and love. And I've come to realize that I have a pretty good head on my shoulders. LOL...I'm actually quite wise when I least expect it.

My life's experiences have taught me a lot. But the thing that I've learned along the way is that as Krystl says..."It's ok to be me". When I was younger, it meant...I don't care if you think I'm a bitch. That's your problem not mine. Yeah...I was THAT girl. lol...but this was more when I was in my mid to late 20's.

In my 30's, I went off the straight and narrow path. I don't believe it was a mistake. I made my choices and I believe they were the ones I was meant to take. Yes, there were better choices, but I chose the ones that in the end benefited ME-- not my family, not my church, not my friends. I had a lot of fun and lot of cries and lot of laughs and a lot of hurts. I look back and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am truly an amazing person. I'm 40 now, soon to be 41, and I'm ok with that. No, I've never been married. No, I don't have children. Yes, at times I consider myself a complete failure and disappointment to motherhood. But, I'm happy with the person that I am and that is a success that many people never achieve.

Now, I've got faults. Tons of them. Let's list some so that you know I'm not just saying to give myself a false sense of humility. Are you ready??

1) I'm a slob--not horrid but dirty doesn't bother me. When it gets to Campos dirty (which is the step after disgusting) that's when I know I've hit rock bottom.

2) I have total committment issues. Not just in my relationships with men but in my career, where I live and even as to what I'm going to do this weekend.

3) I'm a total jerk. If you do something to anger me, I have the ability to cut you out of my life without blinking. It's not that I don't forgive, it's just that I don't care.

4) I lie. About stupid stuff. But will always tell on myself about the big stuff. It's stupid I know but I am getting better.

5) I'm horrid at finances. Mine have been a wreck for so long, I don't even bother looking anymore. The sad part about it, is that I could have it all done and over with in maybe 4 months if that but there hasn't been a good enough reason or strong enough motivation for me to do it.

6) I won't answer my phone or my door 90% of the time. My mom has to threaten to call the police before I return her call. So, for those of you out there who have my number, you aren't the only one!!

7) I'm vain. Nuf said.

8) I'm hot tempered and stubborn. I have medication that helps with the temper but alas it does nothing for the stubborn!!

9) Bathing isn't normally a priority for me.

10) I don't have much of a filter so don't ask me a question for which you have not prepared yourself for my answer. I don't like being fake.

Ok...so there. Those are some of the highlights!! So, yeah...I'm a pill!!

When all is said and done, I look at myself in the mirror and am grateful that I am lovely. I do have a good heart, I just hide it a lot. If I should ever get married, I want to walk down the aisle to Isn't She Lovely by Stevie Wonder. (see #7) Wouldn't that be awesome?? I think so.

So, basically...I want to say. It's ok to be who you are. You must still be mindful of others but not to the point of changing for someone else. Change will come when you're ready for it. Who would have ever thought that Michelle Campos would apologize AND THEN start holding her tongue so that she DOESN'T have to aplogize for hurting someone?? Yeah!! That's me now!! Go ahead, you can say it...NO WAY. All I can say is WAY.

So, go...BE YOU!! I mean do you really want to be anyone else?? And if so, really ask yourself why. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Appreciate what your Father in Heaven gave you!! He didn't give me model looks nor did he give me a model's body but he gave me something better--my smile. And it's affect is more lasting than my looks or my figure!! I can't sing. I can't play the piano. I can't cook. I can't do a lot of things but by golly, I can smile with the best of them!! So, appreciate what you have. Heavenly Father doesn't make mistakes. He's given each of us certain talents and abilities that will sustain us and give us purpose in those dark and lonely times. This I know more than I would have liked to but it is so true.

Yeah...I love me. I hope that you learn to love you--faults and all. I mean the faults are what make life interesting, don't ya think?? Ya might want to smack yourself upside the head a lot but those faults sure make for an interesting life!!

Always
Miche~